now at electriclemon

... >>; i got hacked on my new journals.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LYRICS

"Helena"

Long ago
Just like the hearse you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what's the worst you take (worst you take)
from every heart you break (heart you break)
And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend to leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide?

[Chorus]
What's the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight
And if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight


.. and that's the last you'll see in this journal. fuct_erasure from now on.

NEH.
OK.

I admit it.
i'm sick of this idiot named journal.
not like i liked my icon journal's name anyways eitehr (popcorn n' salt? 8D HAH!)

I think i'm gonna merge over to fuct_erasure because well, yea.. i was using that for "paranormal bullshit" ..
but .. ><.

.. yea. i wont go into WHY i was using it for that. (was meaning i doubt anything more is gonna happen.)

*COUGH* yea.

Bored to death.
Need to reinvigorate my icon making.
Half the time y'know ..
BAH.

So yea. the 19th of november.. would be a year since i had this journal.
and yea. I HATE THE DAMN NAME!

The only friend i know that CAN and WILL strangle me outright is jenn..
the others i dont know when they will.

but yea.

MOVE MOI TO THERE! ONWARD HO! *walks off retardedly*

I swear. my life has become more utterly confusing after last night..
not only have i been told "You need to get laid" by a 21 year old and a 28 year old (girls mind you)
but i've had an offer fro mteh 21 year old to "BREAK ME IN"

Mind you, Adele is good looking.. has a decent amount on top TO play with.. but uh, i'm a bit chicken..
i've never done such things in my life.
Not only that but i was like "Not in my hide tshirt." (meanwhile i'm itcing my face cause i have to wash it off yet.)

i smell oddly like ciggarettes , booze and sweat (we walked form brown st to crown hotel to brimstone to bowler).


I MADE IT IN A NIGHTCLUB (small one) WITHOUT ID! FUCK YEA! 8D .. but then the bowler wouldn't let me, aww but the guy was REALLY nice about it. So i went home early. I'm a tad peeved, but hey that's mostly my fault.

my hair is a mess, my face looks like hell warmed over (it's currently frozen doncha know? XD it was after bec made me read hide x sugi yaoi lol.)

I'll write more once we're done cleaning and shit, and the real estate dude's been by.

hahaha. HAHAHHAHAHA.

Mom kinda did the "BURRRRRRN" syndrome to me today @_@ after three days of spazzing about how SO Not cappy i am (Capricorn), she proved to me how textbook i am by the fact my main three planets or houses are capricorn >>;

Yaaaaaaaaaah.

So yea, now i'm so pissed off i am text book cappy.
><.

God this FUCKING sucks.

Yes'm .

if your tired of seeing really scary and odd entries in here, and dont give a rat's ass..
i'm going to post there for really semiprivate friends only things.
just because i feel like it.
and i wanted ane excuse for a new journal...
so maybe eventaully i'll move there ><
but for now i'm sticking here.

If you want to be added to there, go to fuct_erasure
hai hai, it's a combo hide name >>;
otherwise i'll just do my normal updates on life here.

some people are auto added for torture XD

Aight, i had this thing before i moved that i was concerned about.. i've been getting further interested in paranormal things.. well sort of. It started because in march or april i dont remember, there were more than one of these "possession" issues or as i'd like to call them "WTF SPAZ " fits.

Well, i know i had a few more after that, just never documented them online an d laetly i've been passing them off as , "OMFG i need better sleep, eat better etc", an d "It's your ADHD, you just WISH you were posessed." and no it's not a brain or spinal injury or something ><

It happened last night again.

I dont know who, or what it was but it happened.. and i have no way or any clue to know what it was.

I'm not claiming it's anyone, i'm not going to burn my bridges this time around.

I cut my finger.
it fucking hurt.

Anyways lol.

I'm going out for the first time and enjoying myself.. wether i'm a fangirl or not, cause i'm going out in style on halloween. Dead schoolgirl who died listening to hide's music. (We'll claim my parents killed me XD)

My mom's going nuts cause her boredom's running high, and i'm not liking it. sometimes i'm like ready to give up my online time entirley because she's so bored that i have to hear her whine.

I CANT fucking wait til we can afford broadband, i'll get a damn laptop when i get a job, and fucking use a wireless card for it. Sit on the couch and rp goddamnit.

Other than that, i've been drawing more..
and shinya's taking me a week to finish because i keep fucking falling asleep while coloring the bastard!

mom's getting me mor eshoes tomorrow, both pairs are nearly dead
... yea.

that's about it.

I'm going back to school as soon as i get my permanent residecny, and am able to grab a job.

Tourism/Travel is an interesting topic.

I've been telling people that when i go, i will finish this course.. i dont know how well i'll pass it but i will pass it.

and i'll earn whatever qualification comes from it.

^_^.

and remind me never to look at nearly year old entries in here!
@_@.

me was insane a year ago.



... sadistic depression doesn't make sense, i was a mouthful wasn't i? XD

Yea, i'm sitting here listening to craig david.. because it's a .. well i could change it to hide, i'm in the mood for it.. but yea..

I want to mvoe in august 2006, i want to get away asap..
but i don't think i managed to prove this point to jenn last night..

I have to earn the money to prove to myself i can support myself..
I can't go to cali with absolute shit for shin-ola money, i have to try and save airefare (NZD), and other money (USD) up to about 3 grand or more.

I have to be able to say, "I'm not going to make stupid irrationla descsions based on my ADHD." .. i can't just move in august if i'm still going, "OMFG. 8D"

I want to move, i want to get the fuck out of this place.. it's the population size of minneapolis st paul..
so no, things are not looking very bright on this end, it's just a fucking rain on my parade..
it's too small, and the possiblities for growth for someone my age are NOT endless, they're throwing things backward here.

I, however do worry that if i move.. Jenn and I won't get along anymore, i worry that because some of my best friends in life stayed by my side for years, until a certain point in history where i was fed up and spazzed over trivial things, or what i thought were huge things.. that n.. nevermind.

I'm just..

I'm bored here.

I want out.. but i have to be rational.