Yea, i'm sitting here listening to craig david.. because it's a .. well i could change it to hide, i'm in the mood for it.. but yea..

I want to mvoe in august 2006, i want to get away asap..
but i don't think i managed to prove this point to jenn last night..

I have to earn the money to prove to myself i can support myself..
I can't go to cali with absolute shit for shin-ola money, i have to try and save airefare (NZD), and other money (USD) up to about 3 grand or more.

I have to be able to say, "I'm not going to make stupid irrationla descsions based on my ADHD." .. i can't just move in august if i'm still going, "OMFG. 8D"

I want to move, i want to get the fuck out of this place.. it's the population size of minneapolis st paul..
so no, things are not looking very bright on this end, it's just a fucking rain on my parade..
it's too small, and the possiblities for growth for someone my age are NOT endless, they're throwing things backward here.

I, however do worry that if i move.. Jenn and I won't get along anymore, i worry that because some of my best friends in life stayed by my side for years, until a certain point in history where i was fed up and spazzed over trivial things, or what i thought were huge things.. that n.. nevermind.

I'm just..

I'm bored here.

I want out.. but i have to be rational.